- Yale Professor William Phelps was grading papers on a tough test. One of his students came up with a clever answer to a particularly difficult philosophical problem. "God alone knows the answer to this question," the student wrote. Phelps gave the test back to the student with this remark, "God gets an A. You get an F."
- Ralph noticed his life changed dramatically after he got a new hearing aid. Showing it off to his wife, he commented, " This is the world's best hearing aid. As a matter of fact, I can't remember hearing this well since I was a kid." "Well, what kind is it?" asked his wife." Ralph glanced at his watch, "Oh, it's about two fifteen."
- A Sunday School teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" One child blurted out, "Aces!!!"